You know what??
I’m just done with this week. It’s not particularly bad or anything and there’s nothing ‘wrong,’ per se. . . it’s just that I feel so much. . . bleh.
Here it is nearly Thanksgiving and we STILL don’t have a fucking house. We’re still in the fucking hotel. And quite frankly, I just don’t have the energy to deal with any of it.
I started off this morning with a list of things to do and here it is now almost 6pm and I’ve done nothing. My mind won’t stay on the task at hand. My heart feels heavy.
We don’t even have any groceries. I have tried doing an online pickup order for the past 3 days but there’s nothing available until FRIDAY!!
Last night, I ended up giving up and ordering food through Uber. But do you know how expensive that gets?? For our family, even *cheap* stuff ends up costing a good $80 or more! For just ONE FREAKIN’ MEAL!!!
And yeah, I know. . . I *could* just drive to the store and shop. Have you ever tried to do that, though, when you’re feeling out of sorts and have no bandwidth to begin with?
That’s how I ended up just ordering food from Uber last night. It was already 8pm and I simply didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with a whole trip to the store AND cooking afterwards.
Now, listen. . . I’m NOT saying all this to complain or whine. I’m grateful we HAVE the capability to be in the hotel this long. I’m grateful we have a roof over our heads and all that.
But I AM D.O.N.E.
I’m done with being in the hotel.
I’m done with this whole lockdown shit (and yes, I do believe it’s necessary. I can still dislike it, though.)
I’m done with not having my own space to work.
I’m done with sharing one room and one bathroom with my whole damn family.
I’m done with trying to cook on this ridiculous and crappy little 2 burner stove.
I’m done with having to microwave everything we can’t just cook on the dumb little 2 burner stove.
I’m done with it all.
And please don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine. I know that. I’m strong. I’m intelligent. I’m resourceful and resilient and I can make shit happen to keep us afloat.
But sometimes, even us strong ones need to just drop everything and give up for a minute. All that stuff will be waiting for me when I have the space to pick it up again in a day or two.
I was going to do something for Black Friday/Cyber Monday but now that I’m typing this out, I don’t think I will. And I don’t think I’m gonna do any major work this week, either. Of course, that could change again in a minute! LOL
So, if you were expecting something from me this week or whatever, please know I’ll get it to you soon but I’m gonna largely be unavailable for work stuff for the next few days.
Maybe I’ll feel better by Friday. Maybe it won’t be until Monday. I will get there, though. <3 You can count on that!
Until then, you can still get tech and/or strategy support from me (next week, though, obvs LOL). Details are in this post - https://www.facebook.com/anniesanderson/posts/10157319744087063