One of the most loving and amazing things we can do for our children is to let t

One of the most loving and amazing things we can do for our children is to let them be who they are.

When my son, Gabe, was diagnosed with autism and ADD/ADHD at age 2, we were told to put him on all kinds of medications and therapies and that he would probably never talk or read or write.

Well, being the stubborn woman I am, the one who believes in making her own rules, I decided I wasn’t playing their games. I decided I was THE best authority on my son and I set out to do whatever I could to prove them wrong. 😎

And in the past 20 years, here’s what I’ve come to know. . .

1.) Labels do more harm than good. Too often, we let labels define what we’re capable of. We let labels define what we think and what we feel and what we believe. We let labels define truth. . . when most of the time, a label is merely someone’s perception of what COULD be the truth.

We let labels put us in boxes and spend our whole lives feeling trapped and inadequate and stifled which causes us to lash out. And the biggest injustice is that we pass this on to our children. We have been taught to never question things. To accept things for what they appear to be on the outside. We accept perceptions based on experiences that have nothing to do with us at all.

2.) Not all things are problems that need to be fixed. If something isn’t “normal” or very well understood or goes against convention, we’ve been taught to dismiss it as wrong or a problem that needs correction. And most of the time, they are neither. Most of the time, it’s our perception that needs correction.

3.) There’s nothing wrong with us. We are all whole and complete and perfect just as we are. We each have different feelings and ideas and thoughts. We each have different lessons to learn on this earthly plane. Different ways of experiencing things. Different wants and needs and desires. And at our core – the Soul of who we are – we do not need fixing. We are not broken. We are unique and special and brilliant.

And instead of focusing on our differences, how about we focus on our gifts and talents and abilities? Instead of believing we’re not good at speaking or reading or writing or math, what if we recognize we’re brilliant at whatever makes us unique? Whatever makes us who we are?

4.) We are all truly equal. Our differences are our greatest assets and instead of allowing them to separate us, we need to recognize that those things have nothing to do with equality. Our differences were meant to draw us together not separate us.

And everyone – regardless of gender, age, religion, race, sexual orientation, height, weight or anything else – EVERYONE deserves to be treated equally. It does not matter one bit whether we agree with their lifestyle or the way they dress or what color their hair is.

We are equal because we are HUMAN.

We are equal because we are living, breathing BEINGS.

We are equal because we are the essence of GOD.

5.) Love is always the answer. ❤️

And when we give people the freedom to be who they are, when we accept them and love them, when we allow them to shine, there is never any question. There is no need for labels. No need for fears. No need for lashing out.

When we can see beyond our differences, this world will know peace.


1 thought on “One of the most loving and amazing things we can do for our children is to let t”

  1. I disagree with #1 the labels of ADHD and autistic have been life changing for me. Likewise labels of queer and gender non-conforming.

    Those of us who are “different” know that we don’t fit in. When we don’t know *why* we assume it’s because we are broken, there’s something wrong with us.

    When we have labels that help us see we have reasonable explanations for not fitting in and there are LOTS of others like us we can begin to heal.

    I am not a fan of labels put on people by others. Out of people not of the minority leading the narrative of what it means to have that label. That’s all some shit that does nothing but harm. And I believe this is what you are talking about, the outside perception of labels. (The solution here is start listening to the people who own that label and stop listening to people who don’t.)

    But I’m firmly against the “throwing” away of labels. I finally got my feet under me, figured out who I was and why I was struggling and got myself the tools I needed because of a series of “labels” I realized were mine at 40. So yeah, labels are necessary and life saving. Trust me, I see adults posting about the relief and releases working out they are adhd our autistic is giving them pretty much everyday.

    If we aren’t going to stop using labels like woman and Norwegian and teacher then saying we shouldn’t use adhd or autistic is a kind of ableism.

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